What is asexuality?
When speaking of asexuality in the species, reference is made to the null interest that either of the two sexes can feel in reproduction. In the case of human beings, it is a lack of sexual attraction and general interest in sexual activity.
Certain studies consider that asexuality can be understood as another type of sexual orientation within human beings. Other examples of sexual orientation would be bisexuality, homosexuality or heterosexuality. Other studies, however, consider asexuality to be a complete lack of sexual orientation. In 2004, Brock University Professor of Community Health Sciences and Psychology, Anthony Bogart, conducted a study in which he concluded that 1 percent of the UK population was asexual.
Asexuality should not be confused with celibacy or sexual abstinence. These last two behaviors do not imply that there is no sexual desire. As it happens with asexuality. In these cases, the religious or personal beliefs of each individual lead them to make this decision. However, asexuality is the complete lack of interest in sex. Which has nothing to do with it?
Asexuality does not imply that these individuals do not have sex. Many of them, due to personal beliefs, decide to do it. The most common reasons why asexual tend to have sex are the desire to have children of their own or love for their partner. Not having sexual desire does not mean that your partner does not have it and many asexual are forced to have sex to make their partners happy.
Only recently has asexuality been accepted as a type of sexual orientation and also as a field for scientific research. For this reason there is still some disagreement among experts as to whether it is really a type of sexual orientation or not. Currently there are not enough studies to reach a consensus. However, today it has become a subject that is beginning to be studied extensively and that will generate many new findings.
Are there variations within asexuality?
Effectively, that’s right. Nowadays it is considered that within asexuality there are a lot of different variations. These variations are degrees to which asexual people move. The best known is undoubtedly the grey-sexuality.
The individuals who fall under this term are those who move between the waters of sexuality and asexuality. When a person considers him grey-sexual, he is usually closer to asexuality than to sexuality.
Within grey-sexuality there are also degrees. The best known grades are the following:
- romantic gray
- demi romantic
- Demi sexual
- semi sexual
Although asexual do not feel sexual attraction, they can feel it on a romantic level. These people want to develop closer relationships with one or both genders, even getting to formalize a marriage or a long-term relationship. However, they do not feel sexual desire towards their partner. They are looking for fellow travelers.
How to understand asexual people
Understanding asexual people is not an easy task. It requires having an open mind and a lot of respect for others. In order to understand asexual people, we recommend the following steps.
What do you need to understand asexual people?
- Read the next article
- be tolerant
- Understand that each person is a world and that we are all different
Instructions for understanding asexual people
- Before criticizing them, try to understand asexual people. One of the worst mistakes that can be made with asexual people is criticism. It’s not appropriate to mess with someone you don’t understand. The best way to understand asexual people is to read the studies that have started to come out about it and listen to them. Think that a person does not choose to be asexual but that is how they feel with the rest of the genders. Asexual lack sexual attraction but there is different degrees and types. Within them there may be asexual who do have romantic desires, who can feel sexual arousal and who can feel interest in people of their own sex or the opposite exit does not mean that these people repress their sexual desires, but that they lack them.
- Learn about the different degrees of asexuality. As we have explained a few lines above, asexuality has begun to be studied very recently. For this reason, experts still do not know whether to consider it a type of sexual orientation or the absolute lack of sexual orientation. Also, as you saw in the introduction part, there are different levels of asexuality. There are, for example, the grey-asexual, but also the demisexuals. Asexual grays can feel sexual attraction and even romantic interest at some point. Demisexuals only manage to feel sexual attraction towards those people with whom they have created a close emotional bond.
- Abstinence, celibacy and asexuality are not the same thing. We already told you a few lines above. Abstinence, celibacy, and asexuality are different terms. When a person decides to practice abstinence, this means that he makes the personal decision not to have sexual relations. This does not imply that he does not want them, but because of his beliefs he does not. Can you think of an example? Without going any further, those couples who decide not to have sex until marriage. As for celibacy, it is directly linked to religious beliefs. When we talk about asexuality we refer to those people who do not have sexual attraction and often do not have sexual desires. However, as we have explained, there are exceptions. People who do have sexual desire, who are sexually active with their partners or through masturbation.
Tips for Understanding Asexual People
Some tips for dating asexual people
It is likely that at some point in your life you will feel attracted to an asexual person. In these cases, you will surely not know how to act and if you do not know the term, you may even feel bad about yourself because you think that your partner is not attracted to you. From dotcoms we want to give you some tips for dating asexual people. We hope they help you.
- Try to understand that all relationships between people are different. As happens with friendships, that there is no equal, the same thing happens with relationships. There are not only romantic relationships with sex, but also those that do not contain it. If you agree to have a romantic relationship where sex does not appear or is very infrequent, you will probably learn other interesting things from this type of relationship. For example, great love physical affection and commitment from your partner. A deep respect for the other and physical although not sexual affection.
- Learn to communicate. This advice will come in handy with any type of romantic relationship or friendship you have. The basis for any relationship to become solid is communication. Listen to your partner but also let your partner listen to you. The key is to reach agreements that both parties will be happy with. In the event that one of the two parties fails, it is better to go their separate ways. If your relationship ends because you’ve found an asexual person, don’t be cruel to them. Think that this person has been honest with you and she has wanted to tell you everything about her sexual Condition. You may not function as a couple but perhaps as great friends.
- There are relationships with asexual that do involve sex. As there are different degrees of asexuality, it is not surprising that sometimes these relationships involve sex. The asexual may not be capable of sexual attraction, but she may have sexual needs. In these cases, and if it seems good to both of you, sex can be included within the couple. But taking into account that there will be no attraction on the part of the asexual. It is important that you communicate clearly and that you both know each other’s needs and desires. Also think that other asexual people will not be at all interested in sex or in practicing it. Consider if you are willing to have a purely romantic and non-sexual relationship.
- Asexuality is not chosen. One of the main mistakes those couples of asexual people who do not understand this situation often make is that asexuality is not chosen. And therefore it is not a decision that can be changed. As with celibacy or abstinence. You must always keep in mind that an asexual person does not feel sexual attraction no matter how much you need it. If a relationship of this type does not satisfy you, do not try to change your partner. It is clear that it will not work and neither of you will feel happy. It is better to leave the relationship before either party ends up very hurt.